What can I say about this Brand New Turd that hasn't been said already? Plenty, as it turns out, but not right now because I'm sleep deprived, on account of my chinese headphones woke up me up at 6am to tell me they were low on power. F**k you. So it begs the question, why write this review at all if I'm not up to it? And the astute of you will see I was making an analogy there, about the production of this movie itself. This movie, that feels like a dirty bum on a subway train blowing his nose on your coat and then charging you $25 for it. (For an extra $15 he'll throw in his 'custom' red hulk cup, except that's not red hulk in there, it's something far worse...) Now back to the review, as you're certainly all waiting for my bile and vitriol to come spilling out regarding how Captain Black and his sidekick Sp*cman fly around in their invincible plot armor suits to fight a sequence of pointless battles that culminates in 4 minutes of bad cgi Hulk. But the fact of the matter is, I don't really care about that. I don't even care about the fact that every cop is white and the heroes are all minorities. I don't care that Harrison Ford doesn't get one single scene in the entire movie without the ugly negress wedged in frame lecturing him from the sidelines. Lecturing the president. Hell, I don't even care that the entire movie is a thinly veiled analogy for 'Orange Man Bad', or that all the infamous reshoots did was make notTrump a non-character who exists purely to repent his patriarchal ways, by letting the dems throw him jail for that one comment he made about pussy... It's the fact that they f**ked the only decent entry in the whole MCU, which was Norton's Hulk. For that, I wish only the worst quality chinese headphones upon everyone involved in this mess of a movie. And may they always forget to charge them before they go to bed.