Ho ho ho (Terrifier 3). (Courtesy Cineverse)
One of my favorite lines from the cult Fox TV show Arrested Development is “There’s always money in the banana stand,” uttered by light-traitor George Bluth Sr. His children take this to mean that the family can always make money by running a frozen banana stand on the boardwalk; he means that there’s literally money in the walls of the banana stand, hidden from authorities and enemies. Hijinks ensue.
This is kind of how I feel about horror movies: There’s always money in the horror stand. Historically speaking, the best return on investment has always come from cheap horror movies finding mass audiences, from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre to Halloween to The Blair Witch Project to Paranormal Activity to the entire business model of...
